Wednesday 1 April 2015

Restaurant meetings

Today we held a meeting for our leadership team. After my tirade on meetings not so long before, I'm sure you already know my opinion about the usefulness of these things, but this one was slightly different.

First of all, it was offsite so we couldn't leave and go back to our day job. Second, it was held at a restaurant which gave it a certain appeal.

This is how corporations suck you into attending off-site meetings. They make them sound more attractive than they actually are.

I arrived slightly ahead of time, which gave me a nice fifteen minutes alone in the room to the side of the main restaurant. I could've used this time to brush up on the facts and figures provided to me the day before by my manager, but I thought the time would be better spend rescuing pets. I stand by this decision.

When everyone arrived we got the meeting underway. The first thing we tried to do was close the door between the side meeting room that we'd booked for the day, and the main restaurant. It's a popular restaurant so it's fairly loud. It seemed a reasonable request.

We couldn't close the door. Apparently some workman had been in the day before to fix it, and misunderstood what "fixed" meant.

All our state secrets were being spilled in that room. We resorted to using post-it notes and whispering very quietly.

We couldn't hear each other, or read each others' writing, so if the future of our department ends up heading in a slightly wonky direction I'm afraid you'll have to blame it on the restaurant. Not the leadership team.

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